A Royal Christmas on Ice Plot Summary
A handsome prince heads to the U.S. to escape the responsibilities and formalities of royal life and falls in love with an Olympic ice skater.
Starring: Anna Marie Dobbins, Jonathan Stoddard, and William Baldwin
My Movie Grade: D+
Image: Great American Media
You Can't Win Them All
Not every romcom movie is a win. In an effort to crank out Christmas movies as fast as elves make toys, all networks produce their share of duds each season. For Great American Family, A Royal Christmas on Ice is definitely a miss.
The movie's opening holds such promise, just like Rudolph does with his advance flying before Santa disqualifies him for having a glowing nose. Skaters gracefully glide across the ice, Christmas music plays cheerily in the background, the plot is slightly different than usual, but then everything melts into mediocrity.
Here's How A Royal Christmas on Ice Falls Short
The fatal flaw to the movie is the unlikelihood of Prince John falling in love with Abby. Abby is disgusted when he damages her cake, even though he fixes the problem, and she is rudely dismissive of him repeatedly. For the majority of the movie, Abby is glum. She is always upset, discouraged, or mad, yet we're supposed to believe a Prince, accustomed to having a new lady on his arm each week, is immediately smitten? It's not believable, and the audience can't buy it.
To say the acting is even B-rated would be a stretch. With all the hungry actors out there wanting to break into the business, it seems like Great American Family wouldn't have to scrape the bottom of the barrel to find talent. Dobbins lacks warmth and approachability and doesn't connect with her co-stars. Stoddard attempts to be charming and debonair, but his face is frozen in a perpetual smirk of amusement the entire movie. Christopher Collins, who plays Chad (Abby's ex), is so phony his parts are laughable, and Abby's mom, played by Mary-Kate O'Connell, smiles more than the Joker--even when it doesn't fit the scene. As for William Baldwin, could someone fix his eyebrows for heaven's sake!
Besides the poor acting and lack of romantic sizzle, other details fall short. When Abby picks up the cake, everyone oohs and aahs at how pretty it is. Seriously? It's plain and white with a couple red flowers on it, and it's too small for the large gathering. Who in the heck is in charge of props at GAF? To borrow and tweak a famous line from Jaws, "We're going to need a bigger cake."
The movie conflict is the exact replica of so many other romcoms. Abby gets mad at John and ends things when she learns he had planned to buy the ice rink, which will put her out of business. John quickly assures her that he'd had no idea his realtor was eyeing her rink and that he'd look elsewhere. His explanation is honest and reasonable. In real-life, he would have been granted the benefit of the doubt, so it just doesn't track that Abby treats this like a deal-breaker.
Why do Abby and John keep dancing when there is no music playing? No one does that.
The Christmas vibe is also missing from this movie. It would have been better as a winter romance.
The last sloppy filming detail is the final kiss. It's what the audience waits for, but as Abby and John join in a ridiculously tight-lipped kiss, like they'd both been eating garlic, the camera actually pans away to the crowd instead of focusing on the climactic smooch.
Let's Hope for Better
No one knows better than Bill Abbott how to build a network from the ground up and create onscreen Christmas magic, so it's safe to say GAF will enjoy more hits than misses in the future.
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